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im not really sure

{Hollycomb (who is one of my favorite authors in this fandom, oops) or Formerdinosaur, did a collection of SexCannons and it got me thinking, so, without further ado, my sp sexcannons.

-Kyle's made a rule about mouths and where they go: If Stan's lips touch his ass or his dick, he cannot have them back on his own until he's watched Stan wash his mouth

-Stan and Wendy's sex life wasn't all vanilla (this kind of behavior in fics makes me kinda sad for her?) But rather exciting. Much like Kyle, Wendy is demanding and sometimes (all the time) gave Stan orders in bed.

-Wendy, regardless of who she's with, is the top, metaphorically speaking.

-Cartman hates this (but not really)

-Stan sometimes cries after really passionate love-making and Kyle calls him a pussy but kisses him the whole time anyway

-Christophe is #1 in dirty talk

-Gregory would be cold in bed (less giving, more...annoyed?)
let me explain this one a little, because I am at a loss of a better word, and Annoyed is somewhat harsh in terms of how I think he'd feel. Gregory is willing to have sex and he likes having sex, but he also is pretty picky in bed and gets put off by people who wont comply to his wants and needs. He has this attitude about that is so.."Well, I guess we could do that" In an obnoxious, passive-aggressive, unsexy manner that makes him prefer whores over long-term partners, as far as sex goes

-Style and docking.

-Dick cannons?????
>Stan: A very attractive dick, as far as they go. Not too veiny or monstrous, but big enough to please Kyle... Uncut, somewhat groomed, 7.4 inches
>Kyle: I find myself unable to find words for Kyle's dick that aren't..."Neat". That's awful word choice, but in my head, it's this cut little thing that is just so fitting and natural and...neat. Cut, perfectly groomed (as is his ass), 5.9 inches
>Eric: Thick but not long, very modest as far as dicks go. Uncut, perfectly groomed, 4.7 inches
>Kenny:Monsterous thing with too many veins, (insp. by Hollycomb's fic "Theories of Empowerment"). Cut, Ungroomed, 9.0 inches [hard]
>Craig: (insp. by Julad's hc) Spooky snake penis. Cut, fairly groomed, 5.6 inches
>Clyde: like cartmans, very wide and less long. one testicle. uncut, ungroomed, 4.9 inches

firstpost

this is dumb

c:

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